On A Man Recently Arrested in Brat:
Garth: I wish they'd saved up all that Rodney King bullshit for this guy.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Number One
So basically... I go to school with the coolest (in our estimation anyway), funniest, most amazing bunch of neurotic, creative and socially awkward geniuses on the planet. We say a lot of funny shit. Which sometimes needs to be shared with the world. Hence this blog, so you too can experience those magic Marlboro moments....
Here are a few gems to start you all off:
On Men, Women and Halo-
Becca: You've each killed each other once, can't you just call it even?
Matt: That is how a girl would solve this, not a man. WE ARE MEN.
On *That* Mix Tap-
Heather: *flailing on stairs* I'm not orgasaming on the stairs, my HEART IS EXPLODING.
On Who Really Resides in The Cottage-
James: Sophie is just the stray cat we feed crackers too.
On Herself-
Sophie: Sorry guys, I'm a retardadactyle right now.
On Gleason's Sex Life-
Becca: Mike, no one here is going to sleep with you... again.
Matt: *raises hands*
Tobey: I am currently sleeping with Mike Gleason.
Sarah: Right now?
Tobey: At this moment. I am both long and invisible. *dances with maracas*
Sarah: You are the most beautiful man.
On My Collection-
Gleason: You strike me as a girl with three vibrators.
Becca: Off by three.
Gleason: Six?
Becca: Yep.
On... Something-
Tobey: *jumps in my lap and starts cuddling my head*
Becca: This has gotten inappropriate!
Tobey: This started out inappropriate.
On Tobey and Becca-
Gleason: So... you're like brother and sister.
Becca: No, we're more like an old, bickering married couple who have given up on the sex.
Tobey: Or a brother and sister who have given up on the sex. We did do it that one time but we decided it was awkward...
Becca: .........
Gleason: .... This is all hypothetical. ..... Right?
Becca: Too much. Too much. Too much.
On Chewing Ice Denoting Sexual Frustration-
Becca: *chews ice*
Amity: *smirks*
Becca: Shut up. But... I'm beginning to think you're right.
Amity: I know.
We're so much funnier than these ones I can remember from this evening, I'll have to start writing them down....
Here are a few gems to start you all off:
On Men, Women and Halo-
Becca: You've each killed each other once, can't you just call it even?
Matt: That is how a girl would solve this, not a man. WE ARE MEN.
On *That* Mix Tap-
Heather: *flailing on stairs* I'm not orgasaming on the stairs, my HEART IS EXPLODING.
On Who Really Resides in The Cottage-
James: Sophie is just the stray cat we feed crackers too.
On Herself-
Sophie: Sorry guys, I'm a retardadactyle right now.
On Gleason's Sex Life-
Becca: Mike, no one here is going to sleep with you... again.
Matt: *raises hands*
Tobey: I am currently sleeping with Mike Gleason.
Sarah: Right now?
Tobey: At this moment. I am both long and invisible. *dances with maracas*
Sarah: You are the most beautiful man.
On My Collection-
Gleason: You strike me as a girl with three vibrators.
Becca: Off by three.
Gleason: Six?
Becca: Yep.
On... Something-
Tobey: *jumps in my lap and starts cuddling my head*
Becca: This has gotten inappropriate!
Tobey: This started out inappropriate.
On Tobey and Becca-
Gleason: So... you're like brother and sister.
Becca: No, we're more like an old, bickering married couple who have given up on the sex.
Tobey: Or a brother and sister who have given up on the sex. We did do it that one time but we decided it was awkward...
Becca: .........
Gleason: .... This is all hypothetical. ..... Right?
Becca: Too much. Too much. Too much.
On Chewing Ice Denoting Sexual Frustration-
Becca: *chews ice*
Amity: *smirks*
Becca: Shut up. But... I'm beginning to think you're right.
Amity: I know.
We're so much funnier than these ones I can remember from this evening, I'll have to start writing them down....
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